Springtime Froggy-Fling

We have an above ground pool. It's not something we would ever purchase on its own, but since it came with the house, we decided we might as well use it. Our first year here, we learned a lot about pool maintenance...good stuff, like, one shouldn't remove the pool cover in the spring and then neglect the pool for 3 weeks unless one just really wants bright flourescent green water until mid-summer, and.. one should stand UPwind when adding granulated chlorine. We figure now, after 3 summers, we are pretty much old pros.

This year has been unusually cool and rainy, and we've been waiting for warmer weather before opening the pool and thus, creating even more work for ourselves. About two weeks before we opened the pool, we started to be awakened in the middle of the night by a gawd-awful racket coming from our backyard, seemingly right underneath our bedroom window. The husband wisely pronounced it to be a frog that had taken up residence under our back deck.

Now, don't get me wrong. I like frogs. But, this was beyond annoying. Several times, while standing on the deck in back of the house, we were startled by a shrill whining/whistling sound - loud enough to make conversation impossible without yelling. We explored under the deck more than once, trying to find the culprit, which I imagined to be a HUGE frog, judging from the volume. It became apparent that ours was no ordinary frog - and I became convinced he was not only huge, but also invisible....either that or just very, very sneaky. So, being unsuccessful at frog hunting, we resigned ourselves to the ghastly nightly serenades and the rude daylight conversation stoppers.

Last weekend was a nice weekend, and the husband decided to begin the annual pool opening ritual, which includes dropping a pump down on top of the heavy pool cover to suck up any accumulated rain water that hasn't evaporated. This keeps the yucky, gunky rain water from being dumped into the pool when the cover is removed. Soon, we heard the frog. It sounded like it was coming from the pool cover and we watched expectantly as the pump drained the water off the cover. But, alas, even after all the water was pumped off there was nary a varmint in sight. So, off came the cover. To reveal the murky water underneath waiting to be vacuumed and "shocked" and stabilized...as well as the FOUR frogs happily swimming around inside.

I can't even begin to say how they got in. And, once there, how they didn't drown. The husband says he witnessed one little guy literally leap from the surface of the water, fly 2 feet through the air and land on the side of the deck surrounding the pool. I have no reason to doubt him. But, with the cover in place, I can't even fathom how they managed.

None of the little guys were larger than 3 inches, even when stretched out in a full froggy breast stroke. But, evidently when one spoke, they ALL did. All at the same time. All at the top of their little froggy voices. WHAT a racket four wee frogs can make!

The husband commenced to flinging frogs out of the pool with the long handled leaf skimmer. He quickly discovered that the little buggers didn't WANT to be flung, though, and would hop off the skimmer back into the water just as soon as they were lifted into the air. The husband became quite adept, and finally perfected the froggy-fling technique, which, for the benefit of all, I will share here.

The perfect Froggy-Fling begins with a slow motion approach of the leaf skimmer behind the unsuspecting swimming critter, followed by a slow and steady sinking of the skimmer beneath said froggy. Next, the skimmer is raised slowly (so as not to distrurb the water below said froggy) until just before froggy contact, when with a smooth, fast upward swing, reminiscint of a powerful golf-swing follow-through, froggy is lifted (quite by surprise) and carried overhead in a graceful arc until - finally - airborn it leaves the skimmer and completes the arc on its own, landing in soft grass below the pool. Beauty in motion, really.

After removing all the frogs, the husband next bent to remove the filter bucket to rinse it off. Ooops. Missed one. It leaped out of the bucket and, well...the husband swears he wasn't the one who yelped. After giving the husband a lovely adrenalin rush (which I can't help but think was the intention) the frog calmly hopped off the side of the pool into the grass below - off to join his little froggy friends, no doubt.

Our nights have been wonderfully quiet this week. And conversations on the back deck are once again conducted without resorting to bullhorns. Best of all, I'm no longer haunted by the idea of a giant, invisible, sneaky frog living under my deck.

Disclaimer: No frogs, or other critters, were harmed during the course of the froggy-fling. Surprised, maybe. But, not harmed.

Showcase Plug

Okay. I admit it (again). I'm always late for everything.

For example, I'm nearly a week late for this, but I want to point you all to Steal the Bandwagon. The Bandwagon has been hosting the New Blog Showcase this week and has done a fine job of it, too. Go check it out.

If you have any questions about how it all works, you can hop over to the Showcase FAQ page. It's so easy to submit an entry and is a great way to get your blog out there if you're just starting out (blogging for less than 3 months). Next week's showcase will be hosted by IMAO.

I was a little intimidated at first - thought I would have nothing of value to share. But, you know what? I realized we ALL have a lot to share. And though not every blog will appeal to everyone, every blog will likely appeal to SOMEone. So, if you are a new blogger (as I am), go ahead and take that plunge. I think you'll be glad you did.

Insomnia

Blasted middle-age insomnia!

GUYS, DUDES, MALES MAY WANT TO STOP RIGHT HERE.

I've always been something of a night owl, but this is getting ridiculous! I try telling myself it's the friggin' crazy schedule I have at work - two nights a week working till midnight ('cause folks just insist on running afoul of the law even after regular office hours, dangit!). It throws off my sleep cycle, is what I want to believe. But, I know I'm really just playing mind games with myself. I don't want to think about the "something else" that might be involved.

Don't want to believe that menopause (gasp!) is creeping ever closer. Ugh! But, it's what all of my older women friends are telling me. If they are right, then this just really, REALLY sucks. Because, if they're right, then it means I have a lot more insomnia crap to go through. Oh, that, plus the truly pleasant experience of waking up totally drenched from head to pinky-toe for no apparent reason - not even a steamy dream.

Damn. Damn. Damn.



Damn.

Media Critic, I'm Guessing

While bouncing around the internet following link after link after link in a veritable frenzy of blog-surfing, I bumped up against this interesting site, Davids Medienkritik which serves up generous helpings of "Politically incorrect observations on reporting in the German media."  VERY interesting stuff going on over there.  Seems the Left is on the way out, surprise, surprise and the conservatives are on the way in.

Just More Blather

Wow. That took a LOT of ice cream! But, I'm back. At least for a bit.

My schedule is way crazy right now. Trying to start winding up loose ends at work so I can leave with a good conscience at the end of July, while at the same time still taking on new cases - which, of course, will wind up doing nothing more than creating even more loose ends that I'll be sorting out at the last minute. It's nuts I tell you! But, I'm not the one in charge, and if the bosses say I have to keep taking new clients, then I have to keep taking new clients. What's my job, you ask? Well, I sort of work for the courts, meet with the folks in trouble, and write an awful lot of reports. Cryptic, I know. Sorry. And, of course, while I'm getting ready for a big shift on the job-front, I'm also trying really, really hard to curb my obsession with taking on more projects than I (or the husband) can handle. Anyway, that's the reason I may not be writing as much here as I would like. But, I'm sure all both of my readers will understand.

So, while consuming large amounts of chocolate chip ice cream and then moving on to Moose Tracks (I was THAT het up!), I spent some time researching defamation - libel and slander. I was truly hoping there would be SOMEthing Ms. Foley could be charged with. But, it appears there's nothing, in the legal sense, that she could be hit upside the career with. Others more well-versed in Constitutional law as regarding the 1st Amendment, however, may still find something. I certainly couldn't. Darn it. But, I think I know part of the reason she was so quick to point out that she didn't say "troops." It's just a stretchy guess, but maybe it has something to do with a thing called colloquium . In a tiny nutshell:

colloquium (circumstances of utterance showing that the statement was directed against him or her specifically).....The requirement of colloquium makes unactionable defamation of a large group, e.g., a racial or professional group.

I haven't kept up with the news in the last couple of days, but I'm betting Ms. Foley hasn't been raked over the coals - not even gently basted - by the MSM.

Egads! Look at the time. Sorry to end so ubruptly. Must go to sleep. More later.

Goodnight, Gentle Reader...whichever one you are.

UPDATED at 12:53 P.M. 5/24/05: Heh - heh. "Ubruptly." Looks like I was already asleep. And, although a very proud part of me wants to go in and correct the post, I have decided to be honest and let it hang out there for all the world to see. Serve as a reminder to myself that I'm really not "all that." Happy Tuesday, Everyone.

Fuming Over Foley

Well, (*^*!&%%*!! it all to hell. I had just begun regaining a sense of my usual ignorant bliss, when all of a sudden, I come across THIS from Andi's World via a link I stumbled over at LaShawn Barber's place. I'm always late for everything, so I'm sure everyone has probably already heard about the damning charges aimed at our soldiers...oops...I mean't "military." (BTW - be sure to follow the "Blog On" link Andi provides to see Steve's warning at The Word Unheard.)

Now my blood is back to boiling again and I'm 10 miles away from the chocolate chip ice cream waiting in my freezer at home.

I have to leave work now and make the long drive home on dark, curvy, country roads..white knuckling the wheel in fury and probably driving too fast because I'm madder than hell. Note to all bloggers: If I get in an accident, blame Linda Foley.

Will try to add more to this later - after I'm home and have had my ice cream therapy.

Violent Lutherans Running Amok

What is the world coming to? First came the ill researched report of the Koran getting a swirly - and we all know what followed that particular "news" release. You'd've thunk the media might have learned something, right? Well, apparently not. I'm coming to this late, but the stories coming out of our very own American Midwest are frightening. We now are hearing, from Iowahawk (via Carl, via Certain Slant of Light) about the terrible fallout resulting from the recent article detailing the supposed flushing of the lutefisk.

Newsweek Lutefisk Story Sparks Fury Across Volatile Midwest
Decorah, IA - The debris-strewn streets of this remote Midwestern hamlet remain under a tense 24-hour curfew tonight, following weekend demonstrations by rock- and figurine-throwing Lutheran farm wives that left over 200 people injured and leveled the Whippy Dip dairy freeze. The rioting appeared to be prompted, in part, by a report in Newsweek magazine claiming military guards at Spirit Lake’s notorious Okoboji internment center had flushed lutefisk down prison toilets. Newsweek’s late announcement of a retraction seems to have done little to quell the inflamed passions of Lutheran insurgents in the region, as outbreaks of violent mailbox bashings and cow tippings have been reported from Bowbells, North Dakota to Pekin, Illinois.

Whether the violence was triggered by Newsweek’s report of lutefisk desecration or frustration over chronic shortages of Beanie Babies and Old Style, one thing seems certain – occupying U.S. troops face a steep road to reestablish trust in this tinderbox of ancient hatreds and delicious dairy products. Some analysts say the latest outbreak represents the most vexing challenge to US strategy since its invasion the region three years ago.

But, why don't you go read it all.

Fair warning: Move all beverages out of sipping range if you are near a keyboard.

Calmer Now

Okay. I realize my last post was maaaaybe just a wee tad bit over the top.

Though, in all fairness to ME, I was rather upsturbed, as my boss likes to say. I'm still reasonably disgusted with the way most journalists and apparently all the media giants have rallied 'round Newsweek and have attempted to blame the whole sordid mess somehow on the White House, because - don't you know, according to them EVERYthing is Bush's fault. Or his administration's fault. Of course. (And, if you don't agree, then you must be an ignorant yahoo.) But, I'm no longer frothing at the mouth.

Just imagine, though, juuuust for a moment...

What IF the White House had issued a release stating that allegations had been made that a Koran had been flushed. And, what IF, after making those statements all hell broke loose in Afghanistan and surrounding areas and people were killed as a result. And then, what IF the White House later came out and said, OOPS, we made a mistake and issued that statement before we had done sufficient research to get all our facts straight. WHAT do you imagine the lauded press would be doing?

Takers? Anyone? Okay, I'll hazard a guess and say that they'd be calling for the President's hide. They would be totally ALL over it, blasting him, the White House, the administration, and any other Republican who might have had the tiniest involvement in setting that information out before the public before it had been thoroughly investigated. In fact, I'll even go so far as to guess the press would be asking WHY the White House had even felt a need to air the statement at all, and they would have been saying that the administration should have KNOWN how incendiary such "news" would be in certain parts of the world.

Okay, I'd better stop now because I'm getting myself all worked up again. I feel a bowl of chocolate chip ice cream coming on. It might help me feel better.

We Need a NEW Press!!

Everyone by now has heard about the disgusting mucky mess Newsweek created by its shoddy, NON-researched reporting. And, probably most have heard - or seen - the incredibly vile hatred and disrespect shown toward our military and OUR White House by the press in the last couple of days.

I believe it is time for a monumental change. It's time we took back our news and our press. It's time to demand quality and TRUTH, not glitz and rumor. Time we took control away from the established elite media who have enthroned themselves, puffing themselves up in their own minds to such an extent that they TRULY believe they are superior to you, to me, to our goverment, and our military.

The Anchoress summed it up nicely in a post yesterday. Here's a small snippet:

America is going to have to decide, finally, if this snarling, sneering, deaf, accusative, snotty and ultimately unhinged pack is what they want in their most powerful journalists. And she is going to have to make herself heard about it.

Yes - we need a "free press" to help ensure and protect our freedoms in this country. But we don't need THIS one - the one we have allowed ours to become. It's vile and disgusting. Putrid, really. And the stench of the rotteness comes from its core. The profession needs to be fumigated to rid it of the filth it has collected. And, if that turns out to be impossible, then we simply need to toss it out - the way we do any other rotten garbage. Scrap it. And start over.

Of course, I have no idea how any of this can be accomplished. But, I truly believe it's time.

Me and My Projects

I'm not sure. This is just a hunch. But, the husband may be thinking of trading me in.

Two weeks after completing my eight-month-long ordeal with The Damn Chair, I decided to reupholster my two wing-back chairs. Never mind that the fabric on hand was originally bought for slip covers and was not actual, heavy-duty, upholstery fabric. I decided it would work in a pinch. And so, the project commenced. One of the chairs is now about three-quarters of the way finished.

Took some time off from work last week. Was going camp out in the woods a few days, and then was going to finish the Damn Chair - Round 2. Didn't do either. Wound up having a wonderful time mucking around in a friend's computer for days on end, though. The PC work was finished by Friday. And, by golly, I was going to finish the Damn Chair this weekend. But, on Saturday, around 4:00 in the afternoon, as the husband was heading out for his 2-mile run, I was suddenly hit by a strong desire to paint the master bathroom. I quickly changed into my painting clothes and tore apart the shed looking for all our painting gear and the cans of left-over paint (left over from when I didn't finish the master bathroom last year). I hauled it all indoors and piled it in the bedroom.

But, oops. I had forgotten about the incredibly ugly, floral wallpaper border all around the ceiling in the bathroom. Couldn't do a thing until that nasty stuff was gone. Off to find the wallpaper-glue-remover goop and the little roller-poker thing that pokes holes in the wallpaper so the goop can penetrate and eat away the glue. Found the goop. Didn't find the roller-poker-thing. The rummaging-through-the-house phase began. Through all the drawers, cabinets, cubby-holes, then down to the basement for basement-rummaging. Then back upstairs...to look under the beds, in the china hutch, and in the medicine cabinets. Hey - you never know, right? It became apparent that the roller-poker thing had most likely been "put-away" ...by me. Which made the chances of finding it next to nil.

I became despondent. I need shelves, I thought. I have no shelves in this damn house. Everything is beginning to pile up in stacks, I thought, and no one can find anything and it's all because we don't have shelves. Dammit. And I sat down and cried. I CRIED, I tell you. Not for a long time. And not very hard. But, there were tears.

Mind you, all this occured during the short time the husband was out for his run. He came back from his run to find me sitting in the middle of our ransacked bedroom, which now also contained a jumbled pile of painting supplies . I told him I had cried. And that I needed some shelves. And that I couldn't find the damn wallpaper roller-poker thing because we don't have any shelves. I think he may have mumbled something as he went outside to mow the grass. I don't know. Because, before he had made a full pass around the shed with the riding mower, I was out of my painting clothes and into my suitable-for-public clothes, and was pulling out of the driveway heading to our local hardware store.

The helpful, friendly folks at the hardware store knew exactly what I was talking about when I described the roller-poker thing. But, after about half an hour of all of us (somehow the entire sales staff managed to become involved in the desperate search) wandering fruitlessly up and down aisles, it was agreed by one and all that they must have sold their last blasted wallpaper gadget. Probably the one I bought last year. So, I bought a heavy duty wire brush instead. Dammit.

As I pulled into the driveway back at home, I saw the husband leaning caually against the house with a smart-aleck grin on his face - waving the blasted wall-paper roller-poker thing. He found it in the shed. Near the rest of the painting supplies. So, I handed him the wire brush. He said, "wow. cool!" He may have mumbled something else as he left to get back on the mower. I don't know. Because I was already inside and half-way back into my painting togs.

The bathroom was finished by midnight. And plans were made with the husband for what sort of shelves I wanted....in addition to the pantry he's supposed to be building for the kitchen. Bless his heart. A friend of ours summed it up nicely on Sunday. She looked at the husband sympathetically and said, "So basically, the project that SHE began as a diversion from her original project turned into another project which then became a new project for YOU."

The husband made the frames for these "ladder shelves" yesterday. Got the idea here, but we decided to build ladders rather than buy them. We have so much lumber lying around that it's stupid to go buy more stuff when "we" can build what we need from scratch. Went back to the hardware store today for stain (a delicious Golden Cherry), polyurethane, brushes, sandpaper, etc. I spent the rest of the evening sanding the frames and shelves. I figure another two more days of sanding and they will be ready to stain. While at the hardware store perusing the beautiful assortment of stains, however, I was hit by a strong desire to refinish the dining room table and chairs that I refinished and reupholstered last year. The wood is a dark walnut. It really IS too dark for the kitchen, and I really DON'T like the fabric nearly as much as I thought I would. Hmmmmmm.

Limited Geek

I’m enjoying the heck out of my time off from work, although I did have to go in today despite being on vacation because a client was scheduled for court. Ahhh, the joys of working in the juvenile court system. But, the appearance was only a short one, barely taking 10 minutes, so it wasn’t a total pain. I did a little fun shopping afterward. I absolutely abhor shopping for food and clothes – but I ADORE shopping for “fun stuff,” like fabric, crafty-stuff, and power tools. Then, met the daughter for lunch at an Indian buffet – dal, naan, curry beef, mint chutney -Yum! Then back home for a nap, because I enjoyed the Yum way too much.

And, now, I’m busy being a geek. A friend delivered his laptop to me the other day, begging for help because, “I think it might have a virus or something.”

Turns out it was the “something” that was gunking up his system rather than an actual virus. Nine little somethings, to be exact. Smart little worms and Trojans, each with at least five related files, all doing their level best to hide themselves – morphing, changing their names, migrating to different locations. I’m surprised his machine was even working at all. It was fun tracking down and offing the sneaky buggies. Fifty-six insidious files, total. Each time one was eradicated, I felt a thrill of elation – take that, Sucker! And THAT! Wham! It took a while. But the Geek Warrioress prevailed. His system is now squeaky clean and churning through bits and bytes at a fast, smooth clip. I only had one thing to say when he called for the official diagnosis and a prediction of the laptop’s chances of survival....

GET A DAMN FIREWALL!

We chatted a bit and agreed on an upgrade of his OS and, nice person that I am, I’m installing a firewall for him, too. Totally not what I expected to be doing with my vacation time, but I’m having wonderful fun giving my internal geek free rein for a while. Give me a virus or a worm to track down and kill, a registry to repair, and system internals to mess around with and I’m happy as a clam.

Unfortunately, there is a limit to my geekiness. I cannot for the life of me figure out how to work the damn blogroll thingie. Help? Hints? Detailed instructions in language a kindergartner could understand? Anyone?

Blathering About Me

Did I happen to mention I was recently accepted into grad school? Well, I was. Not that anyone else really cares. But I'm going to toot my own horn anyway. Because, it is after all, all about me.

Yep - going back to school. The daughter just finished her 2nd semester of undergrad stuff and I was so jealous I just had to join her. I absolutely love school. If I could ever figure out a way to actually earn money just going to school, I believe I'd do it for the rest of my life - or at least until I retire. And, I don't mean "earning money" as in "loans that I will eventually have to pay back." I mean, if someone would actually PAY me 30K a year (min.) to go to school, I'd do it. Piece of cake. I'd even sign a contract agreeing to earn nothing lower than a B in any class. Ah, well. I can dream, can't I?

But, I'm going back. For two years anyway. Since it's a full time program we're going to lose my income when school starts in August. In the interest of cutting as many expenses as possible, we recently got rid of satellite for the TV. Did I happen to mention we live in the hinterlands of No Where? The husband experienced rapid withdrawal symptoms and somehow, somewhere found an antenna that actually picks up most of the channels in our area. Most are fuzzy, but two come in relatively well. I don't know what they are. All that seems to be on ALL the time is one of the many variants of CSI or Law and Order. But, fuzzy reception and repetitive shows notwithstanding, it seems to be enough to provide the needed fix for the husband. He's happy. I'm happy. He mentioned that maybe, in the interest of cutting expenses, we should now get rid of our ISP. I began hypeventilating, nearly fainted, and think I may even have convulsed a couple of times. The crisis passed. The ISP stays.

For anyone still reading - or just staring blankly at the screen - I'm going for my MSW (that's a masters in social work). Figure two years of school, followed by two years of supervision toward licensure and then I should be able to go into private practice as an LCSW. After doing grunt work for years on the front lines it will be a welcome change.

So, wish me luck. Gonna go now and finish my loan app. Oh joy of joys.

National Day of Prayer in the Woods

Okay. I'm back. A week late - but hey. Back is back, right?

The Mohawk thing was sort of a bummer. I didn't stay for the full three days. Didn't even manage to make it through day one. Got there on Friday and the weather was cold and drizzly. I HATE the cold! Nothing will foul up my mood faster than being cold. Unless it's being cold and WET. Which is exactly what I was by lunch-time on Friday. And that was enough for me. Didn't even stay long enough to meet all those interesting folks, although before I left, I did remember my manners and introduce myself to the Mohawk elder who was leading this particular ceremonial/teaching/storytelling shin-dig. Several friends, of obviously hardier stock than I, managed to stay for the entire three days. I'm told the last day was even half-way pleasant, weather-wise.

I'm officially on vacation now. For the past week I have been busily getting my ducks in a row at work in preparation for my absence, so haven't had much energy, time, or interest for blogging. For my vacation I made plans to camp out and pray in my woods from yesterday through Sunday (Mom's Day) with no food, water, or appreciable shelter - it's called "fasting" - but the weather around here is acting like late-winter rather than mid-spring, and I think I already said I HATE being cold! Well that, plus something else came up which I won't go into. Regardless, the end result is that I'm sitting here at the keyboard, drinking coffee at 1:30 a.m., all warm and comfy and bundled in my wool slippers, flannel pj's and fleece robe instead of freezing my ass off in the woods.

I DID, however, manage to do what I had planned to do for the first day of my fast. Which was to pray for as many people as I possibly could. I started with the husband and the daughter and then just sort of spiraled out from there to extended family, friends, neighbors, etc. By the end of the day I was absolutely amazed at how many people I know and care about. I had no idea praying for everyone would keep me busy all day long, morning till evening. But it did. I also threw in prayers for our nation's leaders for good measure. All in all, I'd say it was a day well spent. And now, for the interesting piece...I had NO IDEA it was the National Day of Prayer. It was a wonderful discovery - to know that I was joining my prayers with so many others nationwide. Way cool!

Will be planning another fast in the woods soon. But not before the weather untangles itself and figures out which damn season it is. Going without food and water for several days is hard enough without being miserably cold as well. And, before anyone tries to lecture me about going without food, water, or fluids of any kind for 3 or 4 days, let me just throw this out there for your edification - People all over the world have fasted and prayed this way for centuries. Entering purposefully into this state in a mindful, prayerful way makes a world of difference in the way the body responds. I realize of course that some folks won't believe me. And, they're the ones who probably shouldn't try this at home.

(Note: If anyone reads this and thinks they might want to try a prayer fast this way... Do NOT attempt it without proper preparation by a minister, spiritual elder, or physician, and always, always, always have a supportive helper nearby - preferably someone who knows basic first-aid, CPR, and your exact location.)